Reading means Questioning
At first glance, reading seems like a skill that everyone inevitably acquires at school. It feels as though anyone who has finished primary school can read. Yet reading is not limited to its “technical” side – the ability to put letters together into words and words into sentences. To read means to know how to engage with questions that feel important and interesting to you, and to address those questions not only to other people or directly to objects, but specifically to books.
What a reader can do (even if they don’t realize it):
All these complex actions are performed by a skilled reader almost simultaneously. If even one component is missing, reading does not truly happen. Those who say that reading is “boring” are, in fact, experiencing difficulties with these skills. The good news is that this ability develops – but only through practice.
In this phrase, let us emphasize the word shared, because the very goal here is to build a relationship of togetherness – full of trust, warmth, and understanding. Reading creates ideal conditions for this: you can be close to one another, you can look “in the same direction,” you can share emotions, because you are co-participants in the events unfolding in the book.
You can go fishing together, bake buns, or kick a ball around – all of this brings a child joy and the feeling of being loved, seen, and interesting to someone. Among all these activities, shared reading holds a special place precisely because it offers both togetherness and a unique intimacy, where there is closeness of both body and soul. The tradition of shared reading can become a source of deep, intimate relationships that give a child a lasting sense of security for many years.
Shared reading between a child and an adult is a special kind of activity in which reading happens in a distributed form. First, the adult reads – that is, takes on an important technical task: decoding the written text and turning it into spoken language. Second, the adult helps the text “come alive”: adding intonation and sometimes even different voices, so that the characters come to life and the storyline – with its approaching danger or, on the contrary, its happy ending – becomes emotionally clearer. One day, a mature reader will be able to do all of this independently, and in some cases it will even be important for them to do it alone. But for a young child, what matters is that the adult, by taking on part of the “work,” leaves space for the child’s own experience and feelings.
So, in shared reading, the child and the adult do the “work of reading” together: the child can empathize with the characters, and as a result, their own feelings can change and be transformed.
Even though we are talking about reading, when it comes to reading fairy tales this activity is something halfway between reading and play.
Play is the creation of an imaginary situation in which there is both an invented world and the real one. Children are perfectly capable of holding this duality of play – “as if.” Dressing up as a princess or a knight, they become a princess or a knight, while at the same time understanding that they remain themselves. A child eagerly offers their mother a sand “pie” to eat, yet would be very surprised if she actually put it in her mouth. It is precisely this duality of play that makes play such a powerful tool for a child’s development: in play, the child tries out different perspectives and learns to see the world from different positions – among them those that feel frightening (for example, monsters) and those the child wants to master (for example, someone brave or beautiful).
Something similar happens when reading fairy tales. All parents know how much children love listening to the same stories over and over again. It may seem that children simply enjoy repetition, that predictability soothes them. Parents are often worn out by the insistent requests to read a familiar book again and again. But what is actually going on? In fact, when we are dealing with a fairy tale – one that includes clashes and conflicts, strong and weak characters, winners and losers – reading such a book opens up many possibilities for the child. And the main one is this: to perceive the book as a play space, a space of “as if.” Isn’t that obvious? Not at all. A child’s initial perception of a book is “literal”: the child is genuinely frightened by scary characters. To turn the content of a book into play requires special work, and this is exactly the work the child does by listening to the same fairy tale many times. What seems like repetition to an adult is, for the child, a change of perspective – from fear to play. In play, you don’t have to be afraid of the monster: the child who plays the monster controls it. The same thing happens in reading: if you perceive a monster or a tiger as a play character, it is no longer frightening. This is precisely why fairy tales need to be repeated – so that this transformation can take place.
As a result, the child discovers a way of reading fiction: it is a make-believe world that exists within the space of the book, yet it is also real. You can imagine yourself in the place of different characters and gain new superpowers through reading.
Let us recall that part of the work is taken on by the adult, who turns the written text into an oral narrative – this makes it easier for the child to focus on the “work of experiencing.”
Shared reading is a space between play, communication, and reading.
Myth 1. “The most important thing is to teach children to read.”
This myth is very widespread. At the same time, “reading” is most often understood as its technical side – the decoding of written text. Yet each age has its own developmental tasks. Mastery of reading technique is not a necessary skill for a preschool child. What can and should develop in the preschool years is a relationship with literary text – as a helper in experiencing one’s feelings and transforming one’s relationship with the world. A book can become exactly that in early childhood.
If the “technical” side of reading is overly emphasized for adults, children rather quickly grasp that a certain skill becomes a condition for being approved of. In that case, the book turns into a means of earning an adult’s good attitude, and this can prevent the child from encountering the book as a conversational partner.
Myth 2. “Some children just don’t like reading.”
“I tried reading to him several times, but he doesn’t want to – he runs away, he’s not interested.”
Of course, children differ in temperament, in their ability to regulate their behavior, in their interests and inclinations – this is all true. One child may draw for a long time, completely absorbed, while another may be just as absorbed in building with LEGO. Children have a right to all of this.
The adult’s task is not purposeful shaping, but creating conditions – and observing what resonates and what does not. When it comes to shared reading, this means creating conditions for it: a special, cozy time together, when two (or more) people are brought together by a book.
Myth 3. “Informational books are more important than fairy tales.”
First of all, it is important that reading brings pleasure to all participants. If an adult loves books about cars or ships, it is perfectly fine to read about cars and ships with enthusiasm – this, too, will be valuable. But if there is a conviction that such books are more useful than fantasies, it is worth keeping in mind that every type of book has its own possibilities. Fairy-tale and fantasy books also create opportunities – and these opportunities are unique.
A great deal! But let us say right away that reading should not be turned into a “tool for developing” skills like counting, logical reasoning, or memorization. All of this will form in the course of reading on its own – and it will be a side effect. The main effect of reading is the development of the ability to experience the world through text and to become more emotionally sensitive and mature with the help of a book. This is an incredibly complex and important ability that literally opens up a whole world of invaluable resources for the child. These resources allow a person never to be alone, to always have reliable companions in overcoming difficult life situations.
That is why it is not worth interrupting reading with moralizing or didactic questions such as: “So how many piglets were there?” or “Did the goat behave well or badly?”
Through the experience of shared reading with an adult, the child develops and forms:
Finally, let us single out picture books as a special tool for developing imagination, thinking, and emotional intelligence. There are different types of illustrations – more or less realistic, occupying a larger or smaller place in the book’s content (for example, some books consist entirely of pictures; in fact, the pictures are the text. There are also books in which the pictures do not illustrate the verbal text but complement it). Overall, however, the comparison of text and illustration opens up new space for thinking and reflection, because it makes it possible to build new connections.
Level 1. Episodic attention
The child:
Attention comes in waves; the child does not yet hold the whole.
The book begins to “catch” the child – but only briefly so far.
Level 2. Emotional involvement
The child:
The child appropriates the story emotionally; reading begins to work as a space for experiencing feelings. Repetitions at this stage are not getting stuck – they are the work of experience.
Level 3. Participation in dialogue: thinking together with the book
The child:
The book becomes a conversational partner; the child learns to handle different points of view.
Level 4. Transfer into one’s own activity: “the story lives in me”
The child:
Shared reading begins to work even outside the reading moment itself.
This is deep engagement, often not noticeable during the reading itself.
How to use this
Reading with a child is a journey into shared worlds, a quiet conversation of the soul, one of the warmest ways to grow closer. But for this magic to happen, it is important to create conditions in which a book becomes a welcome friend.
The first thing to start with is creating an attractive space at home where books live – not just a shelf, but a real mini-library.
Accessibility. Books should be directly accessible to the child – not on a high mezzanine, but on open shelves at their eye level. Let the child see the spines, reach out, take a book, flip through it, examine the cover. Even a toddler who cannot yet read should have the opportunity to interact with a book as an object – this is the first step toward love.
Replenishment by the child’s choice. Be sure to go together to bookstores and libraries. Allow your son or daughter to choose something on their own, even if it seems to you that it’s “not the right” book (a comic, a dinosaur magazine, a story about robots). This choice is an act of respect for their interests. A book bought at the child’s own request will be valued and reread many times more often.
Variety. Fill the library with different genres: fairy tales, poetry, encyclopedias, comics, adventures. And – this is very important – add “books to grow into.” Place on the top shelf several beautiful, complex, “grown-up” illustrated editions (myths, classics, art books). The child will reach for them, leaf through them, ask questions. This creates an atmosphere of mystery and motivates growth: “I’ll read this amazing book when I get a little older.”
Reading needs not only time, but also a special place.
Seclusion for independent reading. When a child is just beginning to read on their own, outside sounds and looks often distract them. Create a small “reading nook” at home: a beanbag or pouf by a floor lamp, a windowsill with soft pillows, a tent made of blankets. This is their personal cave for immersion in a story. At first, one can sit with a book anywhere, but when reading becomes an independent, serious activity, the importance of such a quiet, “one’s own” place increases.
Note for the illustrator: a child and an adult reading together, sitting cozily on a sofa, wrapped in a blanket.
Comfort for shared reading. Reading together requires a different space – spacious and soft. A sofa, a large bed, a carpet with a pile of pillows. The main thing is that both of you are comfortable sitting (or lying) side by side, that the child can snuggle up to you, and that you can both see the pages and pictures. This is a zone of physical and emotional comfort, where your shared story is born.
The strongest magic lies in regularity. Reading should become not a random episode, but a beloved ritual.
Why are rituals so good? They create a sense of safety and anticipation. Remember what the Fox said to the Little Prince?
“It would be better if you came at the same time every day,” said the Fox.
“If you come at four o’clock in the afternoon, then at three o’clock I shall begin to be happy.
And the nearer the hour of the meeting, the happier I shall feel…
But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready…
One must observe the rites.”
So it is with reading. When a child knows that every evening, after dinner and before bedtime, there will be twenty minutes of cuddling with a book, they begin to “prepare their heart” for this moment. It is an island of stability and unconditional attention in the flow of days. It is your personal rite.
These are perhaps the most important rules. Breaking them can permanently discourage a child from picking up a book.
Never punish with reading. In such cases, reading becomes synonymous with boredom and deprivation. It should be a desired leisure activity, not a bitter medicine.
Never force reading. Do not hover, demand that the child read “just five more lines,” or criticize them for slowness. If the child is tired or not in the mood – put it aside. Pressure breeds resistance. Your task is to interest, to captivate, to show what delight and comfort can be found on the pages.
In the end, creating conditions for reading is not about expensive interiors or huge libraries. It is about attention, respect, and a willingness to give time. It is about preparing the heart together for meeting a story. Start small: find fifteen minutes today, settle comfortably in your “place,” open the book the child chose, and simply begin. The magic will come on its own.
Illustrations in children’s books are not just decoration, but a whole world that can – and should – be “read” together with the child.
For the youngest (up to 3 years): clarity and simplicity matter
Young children need to understand quickly: what is depicted? The best illustrations for this age are clear, with distinct contours, where objects do not overlap and are shown against a neutral background.
You can:
For older children (4–6 years): searching and discoveries
Children love “finding everyone” in complex scenes. This is where books with multi-figure compositions, such as wimmelbooks, come in handy.
You can:
For younger schoolchildren (7–10 years)
Examining details opens up cause-and-effect relationships. In addition, children are already able to notice artistic features of illustrations and distinguish one artist’s style from another’s.
You can:
Everyday Tips
It’s better not to say:
Try saying instead:
Mistake 1: Turning reading into a lesson
Mistake 2: Asking “checking” questions
Mistake 3: Being afraid of repetition
It is important that shared reading be a shared joy. Read only those books that are interesting for you yourself to read.
Check the statements that are most often true for your family.
Not “ideally,” but in real life.
0–3 statements: Conditions are created episodically
This is normal. Fatigue and lack of time often get in the way.
Even rare episodes of shared reading already have value.
4–7 statements: Conditions exist, but are still unstable
You are in the process of building a ritual.
A bit more regularity will strengthen the effect.
8–10 statements: Conditions are created consistently
Shared reading has already become part of life, not a task.
Now it can develop “on its own.”
In this way, we create a map of what is already working.
Any established element (time, place, or atmosphere) is already a strong support.
Answering the question, “What is easiest for me to make a bit more regular?” helps you move forward.
Shared reading does not rest on inspiration, but on small, repeated conditions. And if you begin to notice and support them, you are already doing a great deal.
It is well known that, for development, children need a role model – an example embodied by an adult. Yes, there are adults who do not like reading themselves – and this does not at all mean that their children will not come to love reading. There are also many reading adults whose children’s interest in reading does not awaken, or fades at some point. Each individual case can be looked at separately in order to understand causes and effects – after all, reading is a holistic process in which a person participates with their whole personality, with all their motives and interests.
However, shared reading is one way to make up for what was missed, because in recent decades a literal revolution has taken place in children’s literature. A great many new and interesting books have appeared, including on topics that children’s book authors previously did not address. One could even set oneself a small research task and try to understand what exactly has changed in children’s literature compared to one’s own childhood.
Daniel Pennac formulated ten rights for parents of children who have already begun to read. These rules are meant to ensure that the joy of reading and the child’s development as a reader are not destroyed.
